My Story
I don't know about you, but I finally got tired of being unhappy being me. Sure, I looked okay on the outside, but inside I was flustered. I continually doubted myself, questioned my decisions, and felt very alone, even though I surrounded myself with people and daily obligations.
I would read inspirational and motivational books and feel great, for about twenty-four hours. I believed had something must be wrong with me. I never felt this way; instead, I would pretend I was fine, put on a smile, and keep going.
What's Wrong With Me?
Most people want to figure out what's "wrong" with them. They want someone to fix them or save them, help and get results.
In reality, we don't need to be saved. There's nothing wrong with you, or me, or anyone (even the folks who are really annoying). All of us are just scared. Scared of being discarded, looking foolish, of being called selfish.
I finally came to my conclusions. Fear was the reason and I, unknowingly, had let fear run my life. My fears didn't start when I left the country married with twenty years old. I though that was a lots of courage. My fears, just like yours, started after I had any conscious decisions. Our fears develop because we want to be safe, protected, and comfortable. I know now that our addiction to comfort, safety, and protection will always lead us to unhappiness.
Surviving
When I was twenty years old I got marry with a man fourteen years old than me and four years later after so much dedication, acceptance, balance, hard work, suffer, feeling unlovable, and betrayed. I came to myself that I was feeling lost and waisted my life getting what I want -I wanted to be in College, work, have status, and friends. He was very control and jealous man. I was living without a breath, even though I had to give the love away. One day I said : "that is enough!". I was killing myself inside all this years, putting myself at the last priority. Then fours years later I found out about life coach skills and I start my sessions and my program to turn into one. With a big intention in my mind - save my marriage or get divorce- ??.
When I participate of my workshop for coaching, my hardship lesson was to be in Focus and being Honest and Accept. The truth is really to be in Trust. So, I mean question pop up in my mind: How could I trust again?
Three months later I met a man twenty three years older than me and I found the most rewarded in my life, I loved again and I was happy, and trusting in the new, well, we never know the end, so I got hurt again and I left because I got to the point that I might worth more than this. Fears still were with me...
Well, took me quickly this time to move foward. I found my own place, new job, and my life back with new friends…Really good friends! My coaching career boosted and succeding so far.
I found out that my ex-husband marry again and I am very happy for him.
Most people assume that because I experienced this sadness stories, my life is somehow different. It isn't. We're all the same inside. We all want to be loved, and happy, and free. I wanted that too, but I just didn't think I deserved it. I mean, come on. How could I be happy again after all this pain?
I believed that I had to be miserable to be a good wife, and good friend and I sacrificed my happiness to proof. I was afraid to be thought of as a loser, failer, and pity. So I tried to ignore my past and pretend nothing had happened. But it had.
Avoiding my divorce from the next was pretty much concretized my loser status; at least that's what I thought. I was afraid others would see how disgusting I was and then leave me, so I always left first. Fear convinced me that I had to hide my true self, because I was absolutely sure that I wasn't worth much.
Deeply I took decisions based in what I wanted, prepared and decided. I thought to myself that I worth something better, and that I could feel more prepared to live the life my soul intented.
Living without excuses and loving without regrets!
Overcoming Fear
I participated of Fearless Living program because I had no quickly choice. I finally realized that the only option I had left was to figure out how to be happy as me. Acknowledging myself, setting standards to myself, and searching for what I really want in my life, and always reminding that I am first! I am the priority.
It wasn't an easy decision or one I made quickly. I'm sure you've wanted to change aspects of your life for years, but you've been too busy, or the timing didn't seem right, or you didn't think you were worth it. I know, I was there. But those are all lies that your fears whisper in your ear to keep you safe. Don't listen.
Getting Happy
I could go on, but I think you get the idea. I figured out the fear thing, and now I'm not only happy to be alive, I am actually happy to be myself. I want the same for you. I want you to be thrilled to be you, thrilled to wake up in your life every day. If you want that too,let's get started.
Be Fearless,
Camila Fontes
Life Coach , CCL
President of Coaching For Life