I am not sure about you, but I finally got tired of being unhappy being me. Sure, I looked okay on the outside, but inside I was uncomfortable. I continually doubted myself, questioned my decisions, and felt very alone, even though I surrounded myself with people.

I would read inspirational and motivational books and feel great, in matter of hours only.  I believed had something must be wrong with me. I never felt this way; instead, I would pretend I was fine, smile, and keep going.

 What's Wrong With Me?

Most people want to figure out what's "wrong" with them. They want someone to fix them or save them, help and get results.  

In reality, we don't need to be saved. There's nothing wrong with you, or me, or anyone (even the folks who are really irritating). All of us are just scared. Scared of being useless, looking foolish, of being called selfish.

I finally came to my conclusions. Fear was the reason and I, unknowingly, had let fear lead my life. My fears didn't start when I left the country married with twenty years old. I though that was a lots of courage. My fears, just like yours, started after I had any conscious memories. Our fears develop because we want to be safe, protected, and comfortable. I know now that our addiction to comfort, safety, and protection will always lead us to unhappiness.

Surviving challenges

When I was twenty years old I got married with a man 14 years old than me and 4 years later after so much dedication, acceptance, balance and hard work, I noticed myself feeling lost and waist my life getting what I want, I wanted to be studying, working, having freedom status, and friends and fun.  Well, he was very controlling and jealous man. One day I said that is enough!  I was killing myself inside all this years, putting myself at the last priority. Then 4 years later I found out about Life coach skills and I start my sessions and my program to turn into one. With a big intention ‘ save my marriage or get divorce’ he traveled to Brazil and I decided to make sure I would be happy on my own, I met 4 Brazilian Girls, which participate in one of my groups, they support me, and ask me to leave this marriage and dedicate time to myself. I was the only witness of my suffering and pain. I can tell that I had the support I was looking forward to help me discover what would be the best decision.

When I participate of my workshop for coaching, my thoughts was to be focus and being honest and accepting the truth , in the reality wasn’t to be Focus was really TRUST. How could I trust again?

Three months later I met a man 23 years older than me and I found the most rewarded in my life, I loved again and I was happy, and end up being a victim of a domestic violence, almost broke my nose, and police arrested him and took him to jail, his mother did everything to released him, and I turned to be lost again, and end up in paramedic hands to give my life back, with a lot stress and Anxiety I had to do what I could or I would die!

So, 3 months later.  I found my own place, new job, and my life back with new friends…Really good friends! My coaching career boosted and was going really well so far.

Recently found out that my ex-husband will marry with my best friend and another betrayal in life that is very painful.

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Mostly people assume that because I experienced those tragedies, my life is somehow different. It isn't. We're all the same inside. We all want to be loved, and happy, and free. I wanted that too, but I just didn't think I deserved it. I mean, come on. How could I be happy when I was the only witness of a failed marriage, fighting with my trust feeling, and no positive thoughts in my life?

I believed that I had to be miserable to be a good wife, and I sacrificed my happiness to prove I missed my relationship. I was afraid to be thought of as a failure, so I tried to ignore my past and pretend nothing had happened. But it had.

Not stopping my divorce from the next was pretty much cemented my failure status; at least that's what I thought. I was afraid others would see how disgusting I was and then leave me, so I always left first.  Fear convinced me that I had to hide my truth self, because I was absolutely sure that I wasn't worth much.

Deeply I made decisions based in what I wanted, prepared and determined. I thought to myself that I worth something better, and that I could feel more prepared to live the life my soul was asking for it.

Overcoming Fear

I participated of Fearless Living program because I had no choice. I finally realized that the only option I had left was to figure out how to be happy as me.

It wasn't an easy decision or one I made quickly. I'm sure you've wanted to change aspects of your life for years, but you've been too busy, or the timing didn't seem right, or you didn't think you were worth it. I know; I was there. But those are all lies that your fears whisper in your ear to keep you safe. Don't listen!

Getting Happy

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. I figured out the fear thing, and now I'm not only happy to be alive, I am actually happy to be myself. I want the same for you. I want you to be thrilled to be you, thrilled to wake up in your life every day. If you want that too Let's be Fearless!

Fearless Always!
Camila Fontes